There are many things about being "married to the military" that are interesting. After much thought, debate, and laughing, I came up with...drumroll, please...
"The Top Ten Most Annoying Things About the Military"
For a recap, we've already done 6-10:
#10: Military Clocks Run in a Different Universe than Regular Clocks
#9: Your "Worth as a Person" is Defined by Your Husband's Rank
#8: The Uniforms
#7: It's Impossible to Get a Damn Vacation (aka "Leave")
#6: If Something Goes Wrong, It's Always Someone Else's Fault
#5: Military Health Care
and.....drumroll (again)......
#4: Being Required to Give Your Significant Other "Special Treatment"
First of all, NOT talking about the guys who have been in war. They deserve all the special treatment we can give them. I'm talking about the everyday soldiers and sailors, who put in a day's work like most people.
Part 1: For example, when my husband is on sea duty, he goes out to sea for three months. He comes in-port and they have about a month "re-fit" (aka- fixing the boat), and then the other crew goes out for three months. During those three months, they're in off-crew, which basically, in non-military speak, means there isn't shit to do. Then the boat comes back. They do a month of re-fit. Repeat forever...or until they build a better sub.
Now, here's the annoying part.
When my dear husband is out to sea, obviously, I do all of the cooking, cleaning, bill paying, taking care of the cats, calling/e-mailing family to ensure that we are still alive (for some reason, everyone in the midwest are scared of these hurricane things).
When he's in re-fit, they're soooo busy working long days, that I do all the cooking, all...well, you get the idea.
Now, here's the kicker. When he's in off-crew, he has about two hours of work a day. He's ALWAYS home. But I still do everything because......."But, honey, it's the only time I get off!".
I feel like throwing the vacuum cleaner at him and saying, "Great, honey, it happens to be the only time I get off, too!!!"
Part 2: While our brave boys in blue (very ugly blue, see earlier post on new uniforms) are off making sure the Atlantic doesn't decide to disappear, us wives are at home. We, of course, write them letters, make plans for when they get back, etc. Any loving wife is going to go easy on her husband the first week or so he's back.
Apparently, though, the military feels the need to instruct us.
On two of the many patrols he's gone on, us wives who showed up to greet the boat were given a little speech.
We were told we needed to understand that our husband may do ungentlemanly acts such as burp and fart a lot, and to cut them a little slack, they've been underway with guys for three months.
We need not complain about the boat stink...if we just wash their clothes a few times, it will go away. And not to be surprised by everything being dirty. Yes, they do have washing machines under way, but the guys generally don't use it the last few weeks, since their wives will soon be available.
We were told that they may want to spend some time with the guys and not be at home with the kids, it is a hard adjustment to make coming back in port.
Etc., Etc., Etc.
Well, I don't know about the other wives, but if the military thinks these big, strong men can run a nuclear submarine and carry guns, I think they can manage to say 'hi' to the kids before going out and getting drunk with the guys.
Lastly, another example of military intelligence:
"The Top Ten Most Annoying Things About the Military"
For a recap, we've already done 6-10:
#10: Military Clocks Run in a Different Universe than Regular Clocks
#9: Your "Worth as a Person" is Defined by Your Husband's Rank
#8: The Uniforms
#7: It's Impossible to Get a Damn Vacation (aka "Leave")
#6: If Something Goes Wrong, It's Always Someone Else's Fault
#5: Military Health Care
and.....drumroll (again)......
#4: Being Required to Give Your Significant Other "Special Treatment"
First of all, NOT talking about the guys who have been in war. They deserve all the special treatment we can give them. I'm talking about the everyday soldiers and sailors, who put in a day's work like most people.
Part 1: For example, when my husband is on sea duty, he goes out to sea for three months. He comes in-port and they have about a month "re-fit" (aka- fixing the boat), and then the other crew goes out for three months. During those three months, they're in off-crew, which basically, in non-military speak, means there isn't shit to do. Then the boat comes back. They do a month of re-fit. Repeat forever...or until they build a better sub.
Now, here's the annoying part.
When my dear husband is out to sea, obviously, I do all of the cooking, cleaning, bill paying, taking care of the cats, calling/e-mailing family to ensure that we are still alive (for some reason, everyone in the midwest are scared of these hurricane things).
When he's in re-fit, they're soooo busy working long days, that I do all the cooking, all...well, you get the idea.
Now, here's the kicker. When he's in off-crew, he has about two hours of work a day. He's ALWAYS home. But I still do everything because......."But, honey, it's the only time I get off!".
I feel like throwing the vacuum cleaner at him and saying, "Great, honey, it happens to be the only time I get off, too!!!"
Part 2: While our brave boys in blue (very ugly blue, see earlier post on new uniforms) are off making sure the Atlantic doesn't decide to disappear, us wives are at home. We, of course, write them letters, make plans for when they get back, etc. Any loving wife is going to go easy on her husband the first week or so he's back.
Apparently, though, the military feels the need to instruct us.
On two of the many patrols he's gone on, us wives who showed up to greet the boat were given a little speech.
We were told we needed to understand that our husband may do ungentlemanly acts such as burp and fart a lot, and to cut them a little slack, they've been underway with guys for three months.
We need not complain about the boat stink...if we just wash their clothes a few times, it will go away. And not to be surprised by everything being dirty. Yes, they do have washing machines under way, but the guys generally don't use it the last few weeks, since their wives will soon be available.
We were told that they may want to spend some time with the guys and not be at home with the kids, it is a hard adjustment to make coming back in port.
Etc., Etc., Etc.
Well, I don't know about the other wives, but if the military thinks these big, strong men can run a nuclear submarine and carry guns, I think they can manage to say 'hi' to the kids before going out and getting drunk with the guys.
Lastly, another example of military intelligence:
