My scale and I have a complicated relationship. We chat every morning. And around noon. And in the afternoon. And, of course, at bedtime.
Other females may find this scenario familiar- after dieting and exercising perfectly for a week, the scale has gone UP two pounds. After giving in and eating approximately 4,000 calories for dinner, the scale goes down a pound. And, of course, should there be an event coming up, the scale will stay at the same weight despite any attempt to get it to budge.
I've finally figured out WHY the scales are doing this to us- I mean, there must be some deeper purpose to their continual torture of us females.
They have a long-term plan to take over the world. Their plan is two part. They will first cause every female who approaches a scale to kill herself out of sheer desperation. Without the females to continue the species, the males will die out.
They will then be the rulers of the world.
Even knowing there plan, I cannot stay away. I suspect that my final epitaph will read: "In heaven, may she find peace and weigh 80 pounds."
Other females may find this scenario familiar- after dieting and exercising perfectly for a week, the scale has gone UP two pounds. After giving in and eating approximately 4,000 calories for dinner, the scale goes down a pound. And, of course, should there be an event coming up, the scale will stay at the same weight despite any attempt to get it to budge.
I've finally figured out WHY the scales are doing this to us- I mean, there must be some deeper purpose to their continual torture of us females.
They have a long-term plan to take over the world. Their plan is two part. They will first cause every female who approaches a scale to kill herself out of sheer desperation. Without the females to continue the species, the males will die out.
They will then be the rulers of the world.
Even knowing there plan, I cannot stay away. I suspect that my final epitaph will read: "In heaven, may she find peace and weigh 80 pounds."
